The Third Agreement

Rabbit is reading "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz ^.^ When I reading the third agreement - Don't make Assumption, I stopped for a while and started to think about whats this chapter is all about. It really relates well to my life. Let me share this section with you all. 

" Often when you go into a relationship with someone you like, you have to justify why you like that person. You only see what you want to see and you deny there are things you don't like about that person. You lie to yourself just to make yourself right. Then you make assumptions, and of the the assumptions is "My love will change this person." But this is not true. Your love will now change anybody. If others change, it's because they want to change, not because you can change them.  Then something happens between the two of you, and you get hurt. Suddenly you see what you didn't want to see before, only now it is amplified by your emotional poison. Now you have to justify your emotional pain and blame them for your choices.

We don't need to justify love; it is there or not there. Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them. If we try to change them, this means we don't really like them. Of course, if you decided to live with someone, if you make that agreement, it is always better to make that agreement with someone who is exactly the way you want him or her to be. Find someone whom you don't have to change at all. It is much easier to find someone who is already the way you want him or her to be, instead of trying to change that person. Also, that person must love you just the way you are, so he or she doesn't have to change you at all. 

Just imagine the day that you stop making assumptions with your partner and eventually with everyone else in your life. Your way of communicating will change completely, and your relationships will no longer suffer from conflicts created by mistaken assumptions. "

I see myself from the above chapter. That's why I say I live in my own illusion most of the time. I kinda get confuse when come to relationship and trust is a big issue that I am facing. Guess its not only trust to others but also to myself. So much fears and doubts in a relationship and somehow it seems getting more serious. Before I start a relationship, best thing to have the trust back in myself then only I can trust other. Sometimes I blame for things that happened. In fact its myself that I have face it. I am a strong rabbit and my friends empower me alot so Im sure I can face my fear instead of running away from it.