GoodBye 2012 and Welcome 2013

Happy New Year from CR to all my friends. I thought I already shared my new year resolutions and how I felt for year 2012 but I didnt. Its still not to late to share now as its only 6th. Friday was the first time after new year I shared deeply about how I felt about year 2012 and see it in a different perspective. Before I blog about this, I checked on my first entry at the year of 2012 and I had such a great time at the new year eve of 2012. It was a huge turning point for me from year 2011 to 2012 ( physically as I made important decisions). However I wont consider those as my challenging moments because I could make decision really fast but only if its not related to "emotional" :p for example, it took me half an hour to decide to move to Sg. However I myself know it was based of fear. It was kinda like escaping, thinking by changing a new environment I can change myself. Well I did become more independent and career wise it really turned better compare to  in Brunei. However, in my heart, I felt empty. I couldn't understand why I still feel and act the same even I had different environment. Reason is because I haven't totally change. I was struggling to be a compassionate person and set tones of rules just to show that I am a super unconditional being. I forgot about to be.... and I do alot....Therefore, I was up and down and I share the same "issues" almost all the time. Till end of year, thing was so clear and finally I willing to reserve some space for myself. Seriously, the biggest challenge I had last year was to learn to be an "onion" that willing to be peeled off to go deeper and deeper. I recorded how I reacted when I faced challenge and I saw a pattern. When I am willing to go deeper, I understand myself even more. I am learning to allow my feelings to express then manage them. ok out of power, its okay, understand why then act base of love. I was so scared everytime when I was out of power. Maybe I got punishment everytime I over reacted so I disallow myself to make mistake hence I felt upset. Actually I am just a human being so its okay to be out of power, as long as I am aware and I am willing to change. I am learning to be nicer to myself. Listen to my heart and act accordingly. I always fear of judgement especially about my unconditional love. That's why I stuck myself in relationship that drained me. We should add values to every relationship we have. If there is no values, then might as well, we let it go coz it might bring a step closer. 

The first thing I did this morning when I woke up, I wrote down the values I added to my family, relationship, career and contribution. Surprisingly I did alot!!! Well done CR!! Trust myself and I know I am on the right track. Keep going and live a life of passion and purpose. 

Here CuteRabbit wish you all a Happy New Year coz nothing mean more than to be happy and contended. Best day!