year 2014

End of year soon. I totally cant believe time flies so fast. So how do I feel this year? its alot to do because I have been adjusting my life to my new family. Its not easy and definitely harder than staying in hospital hahaha Well it doesn't mean I wana go back to hospital. 

Biggest lesson I learned this year is to be compassion and willing to give in ( well im sitll learning as its not easy because I always wana voice out the truth ) . I received alot of judgment this year which I think I dun deserve it but then I realise this is my test. Lord put me into this whole situation for a bigger purpose. Obviously it opened many people's eyes and heart. So now I hope I will be a better woman and really show up the best I can to my husband and my son and my future children . 

I complain alot of things I do and I do not understand why as an educated woman I have to do things that I didn't have to. What did i get at the end? NOTHING. Some thought I am having a good life like shao nainai but ur wrong because I do all work by MY OWN and I got NO PAY . So nobody has the right to jduge me because life is definitely tougher than before. 

I used to have lots of respect and honor from everything I do . I was so happy heheh but then I realise that its time for me to appreciate my changes. I am a mother now and what I am doing now brings values to my next generation. Its ok to do more because I am the role model to my next generation. I am planting seeds. Do not complain ( I still do sometimes haha) and be contended with my life. My kids will see it and they will learn eventually. 

I spent so much time with my family this year due to my time in Kuching. Since the age of 19, I didn't spend enough time with both my parents but this year wowo amazing. So much time and I was so happy. My sister, I used to see her almost everyday as well as my uncle aunty. This is the biggest gift I received. 

This year, so many people turned vegetarian even for few meals because of me. Thats a big blessings to me too. Praise the Lord, both me and arthur been baptised and again we are the live testimonials to people of the power of God. 

Friendship wise, I did have some changes in my bestie list. I used to think quality is better than quantity. Sadly, I realise my little quantity seemed to be an illusion to me. I am really thankful that even me and pris is far apart (shes in sg and shes working while I am not), she never judge me and she kept me company almost everyday and shared with me what happened to her so that I wouldn't feel apart from the society. I lost but I gained even more. Thanks Pris for being so empowering and show me what's true friendship. 

Thanks to Eahui too for always being so sweet and lovely. For sure we have generation gap but u still willing to spend time to come over and taste my food hehe. I do hope you will find your Mr. Right soon . 

And ya this year... I got a son without any pain and memories. Rare but its okay as long as we have good bonding now.