Sunday, 1 June 2014

When I was sedated Part 1

I barely remember I was lying on the hospital bed on the glass floor and I was on the second floor. I can see people working underneath me. Why I couldn't move? I have needles and clip on me. Why ? Oh yeah I was admitted to hospital and ya Im still at Normah hospital. I wanted to go home. I didnt trust western treatment. Please send me to traditional medicine doctor. Please let me cure naturally at home. This place is really scary. I saw mice everywhere...under my bed and on the ceiling... whats the reptile thingy... I was so scared they crawled to my bed. I never been so terrified. Then the mice ran to my bed. I couldn't scream. My voice was so weak. I saw Tony. I begged and cried to him to bring him home. He didn't want to . I explained my thoughts but it didn't work. 
We missed our appointments with gynae because I walked so slowly and I was sleepy most of the time. I duno why I was so blury and things were out of control. My gynae scolded me and complained to the other doctor who was suppose to treat my tonsillitis that we being rude not to turn up for our appointment. My sis came to apologise. I wanted to say sorry but why I cant wake up and it took me ages to sit up from my bed. I tried to remove the clip on my finger but it kept clicking me back. Why and how did that happen? Everything was so weird and didn't make sense. 
Not sure how ...then I was pushed to operation room. I peed and pooped on bedpan. It was so cold. I had to lift up my buttock . Nurses were there to take care of me. Everything was in white color. Then I was fine. I walked out but I didn't stay in the apartment Im staying now. Tony , mil and me stayed in another house. All the while i felt so weak and sleepy. I was craving for cendol. I must go to the most popular stall in Kuching for it. But how come I kept fall asleep. I wanted to eat bread so badly so i tried to walk nearby the place I stayed for it but I can't. Tony couldn't find one as well. Some friends appeared and I went to a shop where I saw many of my friends. Then I saw my close friends... Joe, Wing, Lulu, Nicole, Hilda, Sk , Grace were waiting for me outside my ward. So weird Im back to my ward again. They didn't come in to see me. I had no idea why. They seemed worried. wheres my mom and dad. I heard my sis and darren. Tony was always with me. 
I remembered I was going to deliver at Normah via cesarean. The progress was so weird. My gynae was busy when I was ready to give birth so I been pushed to aside where theres reptile on the ceiling. Good thing was that there was a nurse treated me so well. Few nurses then bathed me when I suppose to give birth. The good nurse cut bit of my hair then wanted to make some liquid thingy. She said this is like a traditional remedy in her kampung. After drink it, everything will be fine. I was scared...... 
Then I duno what happened to my baby. After that I remembered my friends and families were visiting baby Arthur . Guess he was born. I wanted to see him but I kept falling asleep. Suddenly Pris was lying beside me. Wowo she flew all the way from Sg . She must be worrying about me. She was waiting for me to see baby Arthur. i tot I already stood up and walked to the baby room but again I woke up lying on the hospital bed again. At the same time theres a patient sleeping beside me. That was another terrified experience. I claimed that he had ATP ( I was so sure that this sickness exist and he was all the time beside me but he was unreal). Because we shared same machine, I ended up with the ATP. Oh No!! Why all this happen. I do not understand why. When they guy ( David) in pain, he will grab my thigh and scream out loud. Coz prissy was lying beside so he grabbed her thigh and she was horrified. I wanted to see my baby so badly so I forced myself to get up but I realised i still on my bed even tho I tot I walked to the nursing room already. Confusing... I asked Prissy to wake me up if I fall asleep again as I think I might be falling asleep easily and in my dream I tot I walked to the baby room. ended up she went to see baby but I didn't as Im still at the same spot. I heard my sister crying due to breastfeeding too long . She blamed me for not seeing my own baby. I wanted but I just cant. I didn't understand why ( later on I know its all my dream. Reason I woke up but found out I was in bed was coz I was sedated). 
That night I didn't know when Prissy went back. I wanted to offer her to sleep at my place but I couldn't see her. David ( the guy w ATP) was with his two boys and a divorced wife. They all had ATP. It was weird when the wife was at the same room while the boys at other place. She was kinda jealous that he kept holding me when he was in pain. Ended up she slept beside me. Weird kan... normally we are not able to contact with the patient next to us. somehow I can .... when I realised I had ATP, I was so scared. Whts the symptons of this sickness... Well... my palm produced some sort of us liquid which was truly disgusting then it produced crystal. Nurses wanted to take away the crystal to sell for money but I advised them not as it might be poisonous so I gave most to David while I kept some for lab testing. 
After that i been moved to ICU then I found out theres a gal without legs sleeping beside me ( same bed) OM good ness... she was fully wrapped and she had severe diarrhea and she vomitted all the time. I kept pressing her body and I felt so sorry. At the same time theres another woman sleeping on the floor ( her mom actually who didn't have money to sleep on hospital bed so doctor allowed her to get treatment on the floor). i kept asking nurses to separate us because it was too ridiculous. On the other hand, I felt someone at my right side( a pillow with hearbeats). I was scared but then he gave me rm 200. Everything was so crazy. 
The "right side" incident happened before too. Tony was resting beside me on my hospital bed for quite a sometimes. I was worried so I woke him up. Then found out he had high fever. I was so worried so I called nurses. Doctor was here in a while then gave him medicine. After a while, he appeared at the front desk then we were all shocked. I turned to my right side and I saw a pig head wearing Tony's clothe. It was another scary experience. We all didn't know why this can happen... 
One day I begged Tony and nurses to allow me to see baby Arthur. I had a feeling that he was dead coz I heard my sis cried terribly. They told me he was alive but I didn't believe. Then I saw a dead baby passing by my bed. I tot it was him. Again I wasn't sure whats truth and whats lies. However I remember I asked nurse to bring my milk pump to pump my milk coz breastfeeding always been so important to me. I didn't wana miss any opportunity to breastfeed my child. But I was too weak to speak out loud. That " want but cannot" 's feeling really bad. Others hardly hear my words..something wrong to my voice. I saw needles on me and i felt so uncomfortable so I pulled off everything. I was quite happy. But nurses weren't. They were so angry at me then tighted me up. I was in pain. I begged them to release me but they trusted me no more. 
Later on, I been told to behave properly so that I can move to a better hospital so I did what been told. I hardly remember the details as everything seemed to be so vague. But the one last thing I remembered before I was totally awakened was that I being pushed to level 4 labor ward. Then I started to get more confused....




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