The moment I opened my eyes

Above was a picture i took with my husband after I was discharged from the hospital. What had happened the moment I opened my eyes and the story later on. I remember, when I was fully awoke, I was on the hospital bed being pushed to the labor ward as I just delivered. I was really blur. I heard a gynae explained where I was going. Then I reached a single room at labor ward. Doctors were examining me and in my memories, I told doctor I hadn't deliver and please checked on my baby. Then husband came in said I had depression due to what happened and I actually delivered already. I was so mad at him coz he lied. Baby was inside me, how can I delivered already. My tummy was really huge ( bloated) thats why I thought baby Arthur was still inside my tummy. Weird thing happened when everyone had purple colour hair ( something wrong with my eye sight for duno what reason) . I was even more confused when one of my old school mate was one of the gynae in charged. How can world be so small right. 

A doctor from rehab team came to help me with my legs. Both my legs were bloated (twice the original size) and I can only move my toes. I couldn't even turn to my both sides. I peed and pooped on bedpan . I had nightmares every nites with all sort of weird dreams. I remember I had this cover on my legs which will vibrate from time to time. Then I understand that it helped my blood circulation. I thought it will explode so i was in fear most of the time. 

Then I been moved to general ward. I thought wowowo must be a better place but oh no I had to share room with 6 person. I was really scared coz suddenly there were so many people around me. One thing I was aware at that moment was how wonderful life is to be able to move around. I look around and think why other patients are able to walk to the toilets and able to eat. I cant do neither both. I can eat and drink properly. I cant even see properly. 

I hate to ask help to pee and poo. Sometimes I peed on bed which really embarrassed me but yet I got used to it already. Then I was moved to a private room which I was so thankful for. Finally I had some privacy. However the room was freaking cold. I slept with 6 blankets. Everyday Tony covered one by one on me. They were so heavy but I felt warm underneath them. Every 2 hours Tony had to turn me to another side due to my back sore. You had no idea how serious my back sore on my butt till my vagina as well as on my head. 

It really felt uncomfy to have nurses cleaning your private everyday. I was still in my confinement thats why I was very sensitive towards cold water. Sometimes i been cleaned with cold water and I shivered. 

Of course the touching part was my husband was sleeping beside me on a lazy chair every night. The room was so cold but still he stayed in the room most of the time. I slept around 8pm and every 2 hours I woke up to pee or drink. I had to wake him up with my super tiny voice to feed him and bring me to the toilet. And ya he never complained. He was really tired and sleepy. He didn't have a night with enough sleep. Morning he had to wait for the doctors to come for check out and to see baby Arthur who was at the NICU. How stress life can be for him right. 

I only wanted my husband only coz he was with me all the time. My mom was there as well but at first I even got angry with her coz I think she was weak and she could hardly carry me . She didn't even angry at me yet she tried her best to bring me to washroom . Haiz... I was really lucky to have both my husband and mom to clean me every time I went washroom. I couldn't walk so I had to wrap my hands around Tony's neck to go toilet. 

All the inconvenient made me wanted to commit suicide so much. I tried to hold my breathe underneath the blankets for few time but I failed. When my mom was cutting fruits with the knife, I wanted to take it and kill myself. I never imagine myself to have this thought and ya it happened. I even imagined myself standing up and opened the window then jumped. I begged Tony to throw me out the window as well. Finally I understand why some people want to commit suicide. When you are hopeless and have no idea what will happen, you just want to end your life. 

No  matter how was the situation, my family never give up on me. My uncle aunty visited me daily as well as my sis. Sis even bought me toy to cheer me up. Unfortunately there was nothing that can make me happy. All I wanted was to leave the place and die peacefully at home. I begged mom to bring me home so that I can just rest then die on the sofa. Die die Die was all in my mind. 

However, day by day, I was improving. Thanks to a doc from rehab team, I was able to sit up from the bed. I was so happy coz I was on bed most of the time. Finally I can sit up. yippiee..Then a physio came everyday to help me with my walking. My mom never give up in helping me to walk. Everyday I walked a little bit. Walking used to be so easy for me  but that moment I had to use my full energy to take few small moves. 

I could never finish telling or writing what I encountered because there were too much emotions. I should have recorded but I can't even write. Oh dear, I hardly hold a pen. Tony encouraged me to write whatever I felt but I just too weak. 

I totally felt like a baby. I couldn't walk and speak and write and move much. Everyday seemed a suffer to me. How can someone's life changed so much. I was still enjoying my pregnancy and now..everything changed. 

Thank Lord that in less than 2 months time I finally can walk with my walking stand. I had my confinement one month later i delivered. I hope that it won't effect my body in future. 

Actually theres more things happened during the two months. If theres a chance, I shall share in person. Now everything almost back to normal. I can walk and run and sing as loud as I can . 
Life is so unpredictable. Appreciate and enjoy the present. We will be so happy. 

An Evening with love

CR proudly present the prettiest bridesmaid in the world, Prissy :D Preparation was simple as we bought all the dresses in just one boutique (Forever New) including my wedding dress. My wedding dress could be one of the simplest ever because I was pregnant and also i have been longing for a sweet and simple wedding. I actually did buy a wedding dress however my tummy was getting bigger and bigger day by day so I decided to make it as simple as possible but at the same time nice.

Eahui is now taking make up course in KL so its an honor she helped both my sister and mom for their make up. Its not easy as she had to bring so much stuff . Such a gorgeous lady esp in long dress. Its been a while I last saw you gal, hope to see you soon .

Picture pic is me and Hilda. Dun play play ..shes my wedding make up artist and I tell you she is really good . Thanks Hilda for willing to help me to be a pretty bride . I really like her make up and it matched everything. She is definitely pro. hehehe

Dengg Denggg Dengg.. Here I am... A bride without wedding gown but is okay coz simplicity is the best. I actually bought one but unfortunately my tummy getting bigger so I cann't wear :p Simplicity is kinda an excuse :p 

My dad must be really proud to bring me to the groom. I seriously love my everything coz its so floral :p  My dad looked so handsome as usual.

Uncle James and Auntie Josephine who are just like my parents. Whenever I have problems here in kuching, they are the first Ill look for beside my sister family. And my uncle is 24 hrs ready for us. Wonderful.

As usual, we had to walk to the groom. This time was really excited due to the late coming of pastor. We had waited for an hour more and yet he wasn't there. We were so worried that he met an accident as I know he will never break his promise. Thank God at last pastor found the place and arrived safely. I cried because I knew God is always with us and we are the lucky one. 

And the ceremony starts.... Im sure u guys can imagine hows the procedure. I tell you.. I cried most of the time because you know... normally this is one of the touching moments in your life. When you imagine how tough life was till you found the right one and how suffered you were during pregnancy and bla bla bla.. you just cant control your tears. Oh yeah dun forget my handsome bestman Joe ..

Actually i kinda forget what I had said but for sure its something touching hehe. And oh yeah look at wing and gf.. such a beautiful couple. Love this pic of them 

See I told you.. look at my nose.. red red already. This is an unforgettable moment but I can only remember how painful my lower abdomen as I stood too long. heehe. But really the moment Tony put our wedding band into my finger... it was truly amazing...And I know I got the most precious ring as it represent eternity.

Time to throw my bouquet... Eahui was the lucky one of the night. guess she will be the next to marry. Wish you the best my dear gf...

Forgot to mention about my wedding album. Its taken by my dad. I am so proud of him . Even though we didn't take any wedding package but we enjoyed the moment we had as its all by my dad. I really appreciate it. 

I love our wedding theme as its simple and full of flowers.

My last minute wedding cake. We didn't expect to have one. Just a night before we ordered from Colin's cousin's Irene and wowo she can just pop up with one. Amazing. You did a super great job.

 The night view of The Cove. Its so beautiful. I wish I could spend more time there.

CR really thankful to my friends and family whose always been there for me. Even though its just a small and simple gathering, I felt so blessed with all the love.

There are more pictures after the photo taking sessions but its not with me. Ill upload more soon once I got the cd from my parents. It was a super excited, tiring evening as most of our friends got drunk. Puking everywhere.. So many bottles of wine been drank and its just less than 20 of us ( of course not including me). But tony said its cool as everyone was at the safe place. So I can't wait for the next gathering hehehe.

The Cove, Kuching

Yes I am married. Its so obvious anyway coz I have a baby boy now hehe. This is a super late post as you know its been a while I blogged. Now things get better and I have more energy and time to blog about things I havent blog. I always think its important to note down what happened so that in future I have a reference. 

I found out I was pregnant right after Tony and mil came to propose to my mom ( foochow tradition). That's why I didn't have much energy in preparing my wedding. All i remember were tiring tiring and tiring. I felt weak most of the time. But Thank Lord that everything went well. I will blog about the proposal later. 

Bfore we married, we wanted a wedding in an island somemore in Thailan then realised its quite hassle for our family and friends. Then we decided to have it locally which is Kuching as the vegetarian restaurant is quite good here. We wanted a vegetarian wedding because we believed its a blessing. 

At first we wanted to have our wedding at Jumbu Restaurant and Lounge in Kuching. Unfortunately it couldn't accomodate 50 ppl. By the day we had a small wedding limited to close family members and friends because we wanted to keep it as simple as possible. I felt sorry that some friends I didn't invite because we didn't want to make it big. 

Later then we chose Basaga Hotel Kuching as second choice but again its fully booked due to the super lucky date. However we weren't disappointed because we believe Lord will bring us to the perfect place. Then Tony's friend introduced us to this super wonderful and perfect place..The Cove. The moment we were there... I was so wowowo..amazed by the place. Its simple and perfect. This is it!!! We want it. No second doubt we wanted the place. 

I had quite a hard time preparing my wedding due to my morning sickness. I will blog about my pregnancy journey one day soon hehehe. So many things to blog about but limited time. This is why housewife is not an easy job. No holiday T.T It was quite tough arranging accomodation and transportation for all our guests when I was really unwell due to my pregnancy but im glad that we did a great job and made sure everyone been treated well. 

Before our wedding day, we organised a waltz class for all our guests to make sure everyone can have same fun during our day. My mom joined the class after my dad insisted that he wanted to dance hahaha. It was so fun. Of course I had to join as well but my memories were all....tire tire tire tire.Definitely not easy to organise a wedding when you are pregnant.

My sister and Darren did a great job. Such a lovely couple. 

Actually theres lots more details regarding my wedding preparations but some I forgot already hehehe. I remember most of the time I was sitting infront of my laptop preparing the schedule and wedding day programme. Even though we are cincai still theres some work to do .

The actual day finally arrived and I wasn't really nervous because I felt weak all the time. That was really bad. or maybe i exaggerated a bit bu seriously I am not super high at all tho I am really happy to see my family members and also my besties. We had very simple ceremony in the morning. I did my own make up and Pris did my hair then lulu as well. Ea hui helped both my sis and mom for their make up. We prefered DIy hehehe. well the result was good tho. In order to make things simple, I chose to wear a red dress that I bought from Forever New. when your pregnant, everything is simple simple and simple. It was a windy morning then raining. Early morning I took a video as a surprise for Tony later in the evening. 

The suites and villas at The Cove are so nice . Pictures are with my parents. Ill upload again in future once I got the cd. 

Pris and Eahui stayed at The Cove as Pris was my bridesmaid and Eahui had to do make up early in the morning. We didn't do alot but i know Ea hui was quite busy. Really appreciate both beautiful ladies to help out. 

Guess what. The night before wedding, Tony and I supposed to stay in the same room then Pris reminded us NOOO WAY because its not suppose to be hahaha we were totally unwared. So I had my sweet night w the ladies. 

You can see theres so many group pictures w our family and friends. So glad to see all of you. I wish I was even more energetic to do more things. Of course we did some games for the groom and the brothers ... yi si yi si . Joe was the best man. Ended up my best friends took over the best man and bridesmaid task hehe. It was really a great time. Ill upload more of the "picking up" bride's pictures  in future.