When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences

My Career is Parenting. We all know what is this job about. Its a 27/7 job, without salary (with food and accommodation provided and some shopping as well), without holidays, without sick leave of course and at the same time, you might receive complains and judgement from adults.
"When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences. Therefore its very important for us a parents to make sure we are doing our best in providing sufficient love, compassion and harmony to our children.
I remember when I first fed baby Arthur, it seemed so easy then nightmare came. I had phobia in feeding him because he was really unhappy and everything in a mess. I tried to threaten him and even slapped his tiny hand to warn him for being nice. Then I asked myself why is he behaving like this. Everything happens for a reason. Babies dun react for nothing. He had enough food already. Thats why he wasn't happy. So I switched my energy, instead of wanting him to finish his food, I explained to him how important this solid is for him as a premature baby and how much he has grown from this food prepared by mother. And I explained to him what I had cook and sang songs for him. I even played his favorite educational dvd for him to make sure he is in super good mood. Also I prayed to Mother Mary for guidance before I fed him. I cannot guarantee in future but so far things go right. Or actually is I lower down my expectation. But most important is we both enjoy the session.

阅读心得

我最亲爱的妹妹介绍我看这本书 “ 清静赤子新”。 这是本关于小牛凯丞于慈济的教育人文。 当然我也不多说书说些什么因为大家可以去慈济书轩购买。 我本身看书很慢 的因为我喜欢做笔记可是这次我三天看完因为我还要顾孩子上网呵呵放我的相片呵呵。通常我一个月一本书。 为什么我这么喜欢它 呢?
其中一个原因是小牛的妈妈美娟师姐提醒了我做为全职妈妈的重要性。大家都知道现代女性大多数都有自己的事业而我作为一位全职妈妈照道理来说是不讨好的。当然书的内容还是以小牛与慈济的邂逅及成长。 我看了师姐如何用心及尊重孩子的心太让我好感动。
师姐相信随缘成就好因缘。 无论孩子于自己的想法有多偏差， 她最后还是选择接受及相信自己的孩子。
是的在幼育我家光志也是如此。他算好带。为什么呢？ 因为爱与尊重。虽然他只有八个月大，可是他也需要我们的认可以及尊重。 有时我们无须法宝，只要好好的看着他的眼睛，给他足够的爱那么他就会舒服因而也会乖巧。当然，他毕竟还是个孩子， 他还是需要我们的陪伴。 可是他不爱闹， 只需要感受我们的存在。 他只需要知道我们是否注意到他。
光志很爱笑因为他快乐。可是他不是生来就快乐， 他经历很多.之前他没有爸爸妈妈的陪伴，总是孤独的在医院里可是因为他相信我们所以他现在是那么的自在。
孩子的教育选着很重要。我们需要一个活学活用的加上人文教育这样我们的孩子才会在最健康舒适的环境长大。 我看了书后， 决定不要看轻我的事业， 必须好好尊重全职妈妈。 必须好好充实自己孕育下一带。

DIY Fruit Peel Enzyme

Last night I faced a serious problem ~ clogged toilet . Husband wasnt at home so I duno what to do then I remember what my parents told me about the function of fruit enzyme. One of the function is to unclog sink or toilet bowl. I never tried it before so I decided to give it a try. I put few drops at first then waited for a while but nothing happen. Then put at least 40ml then I slept .

Last night baby arthur could't get back to sleep after midnight awake so he woke me up. Then I realised the clog seemed to be better. Wowo surprisingly. So I put half a bottle ( mineral bottle) . 

Dang Dang Dang this is it hehe the clean unclogged toilet bowl. I used to make alot of " tang" back then in Brunei. My parents are both DIY fruit enzyme expert. So how to make fruit peel enzyme ?
Brown sugar : Fruit Peel : Water
               100g   : 300g     :1 liter
Then covered it properly and wait for 3 months at least. YOu will see miracle. Actually best to is to google how to make fruit peel enzyme haha. I have roughly 7 huge containers in brunei and maybe all finishing soon. I gona make more once I got back hehe. Enjoy your enzyme making. Its fun and environmental friendly.

World Prematurity Day

17th November is World Prematurity Day. I found this day from Fourfeetnine then ShaolinTiger Dayre and brought so much of my memory in taking care of a premature baby. This day is to raise awareness of preterm baby and the concerns of preterm babies and their families worldwide. Approximately 15 million babies are born preterm each year, accounting for about one in 10 of all babies born worldwide. ( quoted from wikipedia)

My husband and My baby boy, Arthur was born in March at 29 weeks with birth weight of 1.34kg. He was born flaccid, cyanosed and covered with meconium ( baby stool) . He was incubated at 1 minute of life.  He was admitted to NICU for 12 days before transferring to SCN at day 12 of life. Later on many things happened to him due to his infection. In general, he was discharged after 2 1/2 month which is end of May ( his due date) .

It was really awful to see our own in this situation. I didn't get to see my own son right after he was born. Reason - I was sedated when Arthur been delivered naturally with minimal bleeding. How can that be possibly happen? Praise the Lord. God was there to help us and saved both our lives. 

When I was in my 6 month pregnancy, I had minor sore throat and fever. I never expect things to get worst coz hundred of mothers got sick during pregnancy. Then I had tonsillitis. I called it "slamming spirit". Because God didn't wan me to remember all the pain I went through so I had no idea what had happened. When I woke up after 12 days Arthur been delivered, I thought he was still inside my womb. I was paralyzed for almost 2 months. 

 I remembered first time I met baby Arthur, I was on a dirty wheel chair. I was yellow and I think he didn't know who I was of course. I cried and I didnt know why all this happen. Everything was good. My blood test was amazing, baby was growing huge and we were happily waiting for him to see us. And this is what we expected. I cannot sit on wheel chair for long because I got tired easily and I couldn't move much of my hands. My husband had to take care of me and visit baby at the same. I stayed at level 9 and he was at level 4. 

I didn't have much feelings on baby arthur . I guess I missed that special moment when he was born. Plus I was really so confused by my environment. All of a sudden I became a mom. All I can do for him was to sing A mother's pray for him. He reacted everytime we played the song for him. I cant sing much because my voice was almost damaged and I talked like a kitten. 

I had no milk due to my sickness. I tried all method including power pumping and taking medicine. But it didn't kill my determination to breastfeed him. I fed with little bit of milk. It was alright. Every drops counted. I managed to breastfeed baby arthur till he was 6 months old then I totally out of milk. 

We were not suppose to take picture but I did because this is really precious moment to capture every moments of baby arthur. During my recovery, everyday I used my walking stand to visit baby Arthur at NICU with my husband. We didn't spend much time there because we cant do much . I believe baby Arthur was really in fear. 

We were separated by the incubator. We couldn't really feel like how other parents did because he wasnt ready at all. 

Finally baby Arthur was back to our home. But it seemed like the nightmare had just started because I cannot cope with the stresses and worries from husband and mother in law. I know everyone worried about him but I need support instead of worries. However, love overcomes everything. Its another story to share one day. 

“Children who are born prematurely are at a higher risk for lasting childhood disabilities as well as learning disorders and behavioral disorders,” explained Jim Helm, PhD, director of the Carolina NIDCAP Training Center at WakeMed and infant-family specialist. “Additionally, there are physical challenges that can be associated with prematurity. A child may experience growth problems, and his or her lungs are more vulnerable because they are not yet completely developed. Therefore, these children are at a higher risk for respiratory illnesses and conditions such as asthma.” (Quoted from WakeMed Voices)

And ya our son did face problems like breathing sound and I didnt know what he wan. So many first time. 

Today his actual age : 8 months 16 days ; corrected age : 6 months. And his weigh is 7.99cm height 70cm. he can turn both side and baby talk alot. Again Praise the Lord.

His breathing sound gone , his constipation problem gone, his bad drinking habit bye bye .. Im so happy with his development. 

If you are a new mom to a premature baby, do not worry and in fear. with love and commitment, everything ll be fine. 

Service Line

Its always proud to tell people that you are in a super professional line such as teacher, engineer, doctor, successful businessman and etc. How about those in service line ( though all job provide services) such as promoters, insurance agent , property agent or even an cook at hawker center ?

I just realised that when I passed stores at a hawker center, sometimes I don't even response to the person standing at the store asking if we want an order. we are actually taking them for granted. Do you have friends whose in insurance line ? How did you treat him or her ? I believe we all are afraid of friends in servicing line. So its normal we ignore or try to avoid them. But is this appropriate ? At the end of the day, we all work for a living. We shouldn't judge others because of their job. 

Its always good to be straight forward. For example, if you are not interested in making an order from the hawker, we could just say No , thanks with a smile. If you are not interested in ur friends' product, just be frank. 

Often, we take others for granted. We might be the one who made an appointment with others but we didn't even bother to cancel or to inform when we are not free. We think it is not necessary. 

Its important for us to be aware of every steps we take so that we do not hurt other people.

Re-tune Friendship

We all know Friendship  is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. MUTUAL is the key word. All these while, I believe in quantity than quality but I neglected mutual. I believe as long as its unconditional then its all worth it. However , many of my personal thoughts changed after I been through a critical moment in my life. I am awared that every relationship depends strongly on both parties. We should balance up the relationship. 

First of all, we shouldn't take our friends for granted. I believe, you definitely have friends whose always there for you no matter what. He or she probably be the one that always greet you and send energy to you. Hence you start to take it for granted. I face the same situation for years ( maybe 8 or more years) . Never too late. At least I realised it happened to me.

I think it is quite hurtful when you have friends ignored your message for at least 5 times or dun share with you some important issues in his or her life. Actually its not just about sharing or not, but its respect and honor. For example, I am in motherhood journey and some of my close friends don't . But it never stop me from sharing with them because you care about them. Just like you share everything or mostly to your family members because you care. 

So its a reminder to myself to re tune my friendship towards some particular friends. I wouldnt unfriend but I will re tune or redefine it. 

I am very clear I need friends who respect and honor me. You do not need to share w me every moments of your life but I feel your respect and honor. Theres no guideline on "taking granted" but somehow we know it. 

Career Switch to a housewife

I quit my job as a Chemical Engineer last August when I decided to start a new journey with the man I love. I took quite sometimes (though still fast) to think of the consequence but I was naive or innocent to think love can overcome everything. And then I found out I was pregnant right after my husband and my mother in law " 提亲". My mom suggested to look for a job after I delivered baby because most mother wouldn't advise their daughters to be a housewife because there are too much uncertainty. For example , what if your husband had an affair and you lost everything? What happen when you do not have savings? What happen when you are left out from the society ? What happen and what happen and more what happen. Unfortunately it was hard for a foreigner to look for job in Brunei as I married to the country. So I stayed home for my pregnancy and it was quite relaxing though really boring and I felt so useless. But good thing was I did enzyme and recycling at home and watched da ai tv most of the time and most important I spent quality time with my mother in laws. 

After delivered I was recovery from severe illness so of course I couldn't work plus I have a premature baby who needs my full attention. When the motherhood started, I couldn't cope with it and I blamed my husband of course. I think I sacrificed so much for blames and doubts from others. I hated my life. Why would I chose a path that make myself look so miserable. I must be blinded by love. I started to worry about my savings and my freedom. I lost EVERYTHING. I am taking care of a son that dun even carry my surname. I am doing something that do not promise a future. I lost hope. I no longer had freedom to go everywhere. I am like a caged woman. 

Therefore, my husband was really worried about my condition because everything didnt seem as what we expected. 

Guess Lord heard our prayer and day by day I find out this is an amazing journey. Nowadays, most women are highly educated . Hence, we think we have to be financial independent and we can voice out anything we wan. We wan gender equality. Thats how we been raised up. 

When I learn to let go my fear of losing something and appreciating what I am having, You have no idea how happy and enjoy I am in this journey. I couldn't guarantee everything will be a beautiful but it all depend how you define happiness. My happiness bring joyful to both my son and husband. We argue alot. Obviously I am full of ego and opinions. But this journey bring me to let go my ego slowly and learn to listen and fully committed to my family. 

Look at my son baby arthur. He is such a cheerful baby because he has a happy parents. Because of my happiness, he smiles and laughs from the moment he wakes up. Of course he still cries when he wants something and we do not know what he want but overall he is a super happy boy. 

My husband has tons of work in his office and he is trying his hard to build up his team. As a wife, my job is to stay positive and enjoy my motherhood so that he feels worth it for all his stress at work. We just started our new journey and money of course is a huge issue. The more we enjoy our life (not to spend like crazy women ) the happier our husband is. 

I asked my husband, which type of women attracted you most? sexy linger? cleavage?

NO he answered. Positive energy women attract him most and make him wana kiss her whole day and have many many babies with her HAHAHAHAH. 

Therefore, if you are thinking of a career switch to a housewife, why no!! Go for it as long as your husband can afford and look after your family with your full heart. Equipped yourself with knowledge and happiness because this is the energy your husband and children need.