For The First Time

Good evening avionee~~ hows day so far? Mine was super great as it was filled with love and a little emotional moment which made me realise how lucky I am in this environment. I woke up early in the morning to get ready for my first session of street fund raising for Sandy's survivors then mana tau went to the wrong point ( i was walking there happily and proudly that I could wake up early :p) Then eiii nobody there then I realised oopsy salah tempat. Alamak this is already not the first time. Then I was panic coz I was really crap in using GPS and I couldn't reach my shi jie's number. Then I waited at bus stop then decided to go home. Ended up join afternoon session only. However during the break time, I had good time reading book and catching up. Then this song was in my mind and I was singing it...

Last year November was my very first time listening to Rod Stewart's For the First time. I cried so much because that was the very first time, i went deep into my heart and really listened to my heart. I was really vulnerable and I was so thankful with the ego I willing to let go and trust I had for the group of ppl I met. After a year, I still remember clearly how I felt that moment. It seems like just happened yesterday. Everytime when I back to my class, I feel so deeply of myself. Since then, I know whats love . Sometimes I doubt it but I know Im giving more spaces for myself and allow myself to grow even more. I am missing my friends so dearly now. My first 3M moments happened last Nov and since then those moments been created from time to time. I still remember the very first time I look into your eyes and everyone's eyes. so honest and so sincere. 

Back to my today's activity. Due to the weather plus smokes , I felt so dizzy and blacked out. I was so scared coz this is one thing that I do not wish to happy as I always feel dizzy. Reason is because I dun take my meals regulary and I dun do exercise. I felt so guilty and upset. I have this pattern one!! Whenever me sick, I cried. heheheh . coz tht was the moment I wanted a shoulder so badly. Then thought of my time in Brunei and hometown. Back time I do not have to be so independent. Sometimes I wish I am allowed to be manja and out of power but still can receive forgiveness. Then wuwuwuuwuw cry cry cry then slept hahaha. 

However when I woke up, I felt so fresh and released because I thought of the love and care from my volunteer's sis and bro. Everytime when i felt weak, they were there asking and concerning and feeding me food. I am already in the environment and I am the one that can create more love to others and to myself. I should take care of my diet and do more exercise. always lupa. I will be more aware and take care of myself for my commitment. How am i able to help other when I couldn't help myself. this is the basic rule that I always remind myself but single lady who leaves home always has this problem. I know I could love myself even more. Time for a minor change CuteRabbit. 

Then I had a wonderful evening with my friend. Shes actually always there in my whatsapp chatting with me and we have been to several activities together. See how lucky this bunny is. Teehee. I believe No matter what we have manifested in regards to our body, we can change it - inside and out. Start thinking happy thoughts and start being happy. Happiness is a feeling state of being. We have our finger on the "feeling happy" button. Press it now and keep your finger pressed down on it firmly no matter what is happening around you. 

Good Night my dear friend. Tomorrow is Monday and I know it gona be a super wonderful week. I love you all and sweet dream :)